53 years........

With a blink of an eye, it has been 53 years since this beloved nation of mine gained it's independence. A lot of things has changed though. Rather than watching the wave of the Union Jack fills the atmosphere here, the country is proud to have its own prestigious stripe, better known as the Jalur Gemilang. I may not be lucky (maybe unlucky,in an opposite circumstance) to live during those hard and painful days, where almost every citizen were having such an extremely low self-esteem, to the extend that WE, the rightful owner of this sacred land needs to learn how to speak with this colonial batallion's languages, this parasites roaming on our country's mother-tounge, just so that it will be easy to converse with them on a daily basis. My father once told me, that the Japanese will cruelly chop off the heads of the local citizen, if they failed to understand the order that was given to them, in Japanese! In addition, this intruders from The Land of The Rising Sun would regularly be doing spot-checks from house to house, just to ensure that there are no radio, yes, radio equipped in this citizen's home. Life was said to be slightly better after the surrendering of the Japanese to the British, but nevertheless, what is a clear distinction between being colonized by an Asian or by an European? You are still living no different than a refugee on your own land.

Come to think of it, how can a normal homo sapien be living in such hardship? After the roar of "Merdeka!" by Tunku Abdul Rahman Putra Al-Haj marked the end of centuries of the colonial era, domestic problems began to occur. The Communism Ideology began to gain widespread influence from many local individuals, resulting in a a new form of terror not just in the country, but the whole world thoroughly. Luckily, this threat was finally put to an absolute end with the exile of its de facto leader, Ong  Boon Hua, better known as Chin Peng.

Since then, the country has enjoyed the taste of peacefullness for quite sometime. Numerous success has been achieved. Developement in so many different fields and sectors has made Malaysia a household name not just in the Asian region, but internationally as well. Come to think of it, will this heavenly situation last for long? Or will it be nothing more like an evening rain? 53 years has passed. I don't know about you guys, but I am quite familiar with one quote, that is ;

"the more things change, the more things will remain the same..."

The country has changed a lot. But honestly, we are still arguably colonized in one or a few topics right? Independence is great. Being free from any outside interference is awesome. But maintaining it,that is a whole new story. We, the future citizen, the future of this land should be the backbone in maintaining these freedom. Let us not let any negative doctrines to fill our minds. Back in school, I learnt that Unity is Strength. That is the motto that should be carved in every youth's mind and heart. Do not let any form of differences to tear us apart. Appreciate this freedom, for the sake of our nation and it's future...

Happy Independence Day

MERDEKA!!!!!!!!!!!

legenda Padang C kembali.....

Benda ni dah lama,tapi gua peduli ape,gua nak update jugak. 2 minggu yang lepas,batch gua buat Annual Futsal. Mula2 bajet nak buat dekat Sports Planet Shah Alam. Last2, tukar dekat HTO Subang. Time ni ramai adik beradik gua yang belajar dekat seberang laut dah pulang bercuti. A veri appropriate time for a mini-gathering, I suppose. Gua gerak dari Bangi ke Purajaya dulu,pasal nak ambil Jekbe dekat Alamanda dulu. Berkat arahan dari dia,kami pun sampai ke Subang. 1st stop,rumah Apis. Then bergerak lah kami ke HTO. Sumpah best dapat main futsal sama-sama balik,teringat kenangan dekat padang C, dimana gua telah mengukir nama sebagai penjaring terbanyak hampir setiap petang

apis,wengkam,adib,apal,alep,anas

setiap sedutan membawa padah..tapi takpe,sape yang tak main leh isap..

                                                                                                   

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

L for life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

apa yang tersurat dan tersirat..........

Hari ini hari Nuzul Quran, hari di mana ayat Al-Quran diwahyukan kepada junjungan besar kita , Rasulullah S.A.W. In conjuction with this event, sesetengah negeri bercuti bagi meraikan hari ni. Ini termasuklah negeri tumpangan gua ni. Hari ni gua pagi-pagi dah sampai rumah. Benda pertama gua cari, FIFA 10. Habis saja main,gua rasa boring. Tiba2 gua dengar 1 suara dekat ruang tamu. Gua tak tau ayat yang keberapa,tapi gua tau itu suara mak gua sedang baca Al-Quran,surah An-Nahlu. Tak tau la nape,gua pun tergerak nak ikut dia baca sekali. Gu baca tak banyak,satu muka surat saja pun. Tapi lepas habis baca,gua rasa best. Hilang boring. Maybe ni la kot berkat baca Al-Quran time bulan puasa ni,lagi-lagi time Nuzul Quran.

Sekarang ni tengah bulan Ramadhan. Bulan ni la bulan untuk semua umat Islam lipat-gandakan amalan. Alhamdulillah,sekarang gua dah mula baca Al-Quran at least 1 page 1 hari. OK la,walaupun sikit. Yang penting bagi gua,konsisten. Sekarang gua dah mula rasa tenang,rasa best. Yang gua rasa tak best ni cuma perangai sesetengah manusia dalam bulan ni. Gua tau la,lu olang maybe orang bandar,atau maybe tak  biasa berada dalam suasana Ramadhan. Maybe pasal depa ni biasa membesar kat bandar-bandar macam New York, California, London, Paris atau Toronto, menyebabkan depa ni dah tak biasa dengan budaya berpuasa dekat Malaysia ni. Tapi kalau ye pun,hormatlah sikit. Kalau dah muka tu Melayu,jaga la sikit diri time bulan puasa ni. Contohnya, penampilan. Gua tau la lu mat rocker,nak pergi mana-mana kena pakai santing2,rantai,gelang besi dan macam-maca lagi. Tapi time bulan puasa ni, jaga la sikit. Dressing tu biar la elok-elok,tak payah la nak tunjuk lu tu brutal sangat. Buat malu orang Islam je. Yang kaum Hawa pulak cuba la cover sikit. Bukannya orang suruh terus pakai tudung litup, tapi at least pakaian yangs sedia ada tu jaga la. Tak payah la buat free-show dekat sini,buat pahala puasa gua kurang je. Habis Puasa nanti lain la. Lagi pun korang belajar dekat Malaysia saja pun. Gua ada ramai member2 yang pergi oversea,tapi dressing diorang rilek je,tak ada pun nak nonjol. Yang korang ni,dok terperap dekat Malaysia ni,sedarlah diri tu siapa.

Gua malam-malam sedih dan bengang jugak. Bila gua nak pergi Tarawikh,gua nampak ada orang-orang serumpun dengan gua boleh dok lepak lagi depan kolej. Orang punya la dok berpusu-pusu pergi masjid,diorang leh buat muka toye sambil isap rokok. Adoi maybe diorang ni dah konfem masuk syurga kot. Maybe la..

Buka ape,masa Ramadhan ni la bagi gua masa untuk sedar sikit. Yang susah sangat nak solat tu,solat la masa ni. Apa yang susah sangat? Lu ni spoil sangat ke.otai sangat ke,SAMSENG SANGAT KE?? Susah bebeno nak jaga solat,padahal orang kampung dok ulu je pun. Tadi ada member gua story, dia kata dia ni tak pernah tinggal solat atau puasa. Tapi 1 cikaro pun tak nak kat dia. Orang2 lain ramai je yang nak. Gua bila fikir2 balik, apa yang lu nak risau bai? Lu solat doh,awek mana yang tak nak buat lu jadi laki diorang? Minah2 cun dan mamat2 macho yang ramai peminat,tapi tak jaga kerohanian ni,lu ingat ada orang ke yang nak ambil jadi laki atau bini? Paling hebat pun jadi skandal atau couple saja la. Tak percaya,tengok nanti. Ada tak orang yang sudi kahwin dengan diorang? Last2,orang macam lu yang jaga solat ni jugak yang awek akan dok terhegeh-hegeh nak. Lagi satu,orang yang dok berlagak jadi playboy atau playgirl ni,ape yang lu olang nak bangga bai? Sapa yang bodoh sangat nak kat lu tu? Diorang semua tu betul2 ke suka sama lu? Most importantly,ade ke dari semua tu yang nak ambil lu jadi teman hidup? Ada ke yang sanggup terima jadi menantu? Solat tak jaga,puasa pun kadang-kadang. Tak payah bajet la wei. Biar diri ini tak hot di mata manusia,tapi hot di sisi Illahi....


Gua sekarang ni dah mula rasa best sikit. Maybe masih bermasalah kewangan,tapi hati dah mula tenang. Gua bersyukur,gua berharap Allah akan terus bantu gua dalam mengharungi bulan ni...insyaAllah..

approaching...

Quite awhile..................not sure why though. It seems my tendency to open this page has been decreasing for this past few months. My previous post might tell the whole story,but no all,I guess. I'm a little bit busy,doing sorts of rigmarole since the beginning of this hectic semester. My wallet are getting lighter each and every week. I need to go back home almost every f***ing weekends,just to get down on my knees in front of my dad,the only way to re-fill the emptiness in my pocket. I am now going through a special month, a month they call Ramadhan. One of the holiest month in the Islamic calendar. More than a week of this month had passed,yet I feel that there is nothing to it. I go the mosque almost every night,performing the Tarawikh prayers. But this awkward feeling of obscurity and frustration keeps on bugging me. Maybe those nights at the mosque were not enough for me to get rewarded from Him. I seldom read the Holy Qoran nowadays, or even performing the Dhoha prayers in the morning even if I have that little leisure time. I miss those days back in Kuala Kangsar. Back then, I may not be the most cunning or loveable of all of students, but still, I spent most of my Ramadhan in the surau from day to day. This new life of mine might have tones of freedom, but spiritually, I am getting worse. Reminiscing those days makes me remember, how I went through this fasting months without the love of both my parents as I was staying in a boarding school. Instead of breaking fast with them, I am doing it with a new bunch of guys, a bunch of guys that now I consider my blood-brothers. Remembering all those hard times we shared together, it makes me happy,makes me smile. I never thaught of getting into drugs,being a notorious school gangster or even getting involve in any nonsence puppy-love syndromes, because I have you guys to feel my life with all sorts of laughter,happiness and most importantly,brotherly-love. Thanks guys. Jom Murni!!!!!!!!!!!!

Getting back to my core business,studying. I might say that it started quiet brightly, I fell in love with two Islamic Law subjects. Hope to score A's on both subjects. Still a long way to go. I have started planning on my future. I am a kind of guy who will never be satisfied in any circumstances. I still have some other things to fulfill after this four years,and I'm not going to let anything or even anyone to be an obstacle for me in reaching it. Jealousy...yes,jealousy. This is the element that droves me in reaching my goal. He has been looking down on me since school. I'll prove to him one day, I might be living with your cash,but sooner or later, I'll be a filthier man with tones of money of my own.

Right now,there is nothing more vital for me than to study. This is my priority. I'm not here for enjoyment,I'm not here to be in any serious relationships(yet I am right now). Hope there is a bright light at the end of this dark tunnel I am passing through. It has been years since I was a notorious guy.....I am not looking back.

Ramadhan is not over yet. God,give me that strength..that strength for me to feel this Holy Month of Yours with all the Blessfull deeds that I could possibly manage.....
Amin.......

kesialan.....

gua dah lama tak update gua nye blog ni. bapak berhabuknye bila gua bukak. sawang sana-sini,siap berdaki lagi. Bermulanya semester baru di sini, lebih kurang macam dulu jugak, bermula dengan kesengalan yang tak dapat gua rungkaikan melalui keyboard Laptop Asus gua ni. Masuk saja Tahun 2 ni, memang gua dah mula sengal-sengal ubi pasal result gua before ni untuk sekian kali nye lingkup. Result exam gua jatuh, tak macam-macam member gua yang lain, semua meningkat tahap dewa. Frust,tension,bengang,rasa macam nak pulas perut sendiri pun ada. Gua tak tau mana silap. Dulu masa 1st sem,time ramai member2 gua yang result merudum,result gua boleh pulak OK. Takde la sampai tahap gempak,tapi ok la nak bandingkan dengan yang lain,hampir la jugak mencapai target. Tapi exam baru ni,totally out. Bapak gua tau,memang dia redha dan menerima dengan hati yang terbuka sebenarnya kan? Sepanjang dekat rumah, semua yang gua buat, semua salah,semua serba tak kena,semua tak betul, semua pasal result gua yang mantap ni. Kalau dulu, bapak atau atuk gua ada la jugak bekalkan duit belanja, sekarang ni bagi duit serupa tak bagi duit saja,time nak hulur duit tu pun tak pandang muka gua,tau la muka gua ni muka loser,tak hensem pulak tu.... kalau dulu gua miskin,sekarang gua rasa dah jatuh tahap fakir dah...

Gua frust gila duduk rumah. Bukak saja semester baru, gua terus chow dari rumah,bajet nak peace dekat sini. Korang rasa gua dapat peace tak?? Disebabkan result gua yang mantap ni, gua tak dapat ambil lebih dari 20 unit. Gua pun apply la nak tambah kredit dekat ofis FUU, tapi tak lulus pasal ada kesilapan masa gua apply. Terima kasih banyak-banyak gua nak ucap kepada Kerani ofis tu pasal tak bagitau gua awal-awal apa yang tak kena dengan borang permohonan gua tu. Hasilnya, gua still tak boleh tambah kredit, maka kena la tangguh untuk buat subjek2 yang tak penting ni ke semester lain. Sekarang gua dah mula serabut, nak buat short-sem ke tak nak??? Gua plan nak buat attachment cuti ni,tapi larat ke gua nak buat 2 subjek sengal ni dalam 1 sem?? Serabut!!

Maka bergembiralah gua di Kolej kediaman gua ni. Gua pun terpaksa la register ko-k yang sampai sekarang gua tak tau ape kejadahnya yang gua ambik tadi.

Sekarang ni gua tengah buat assignment . Bak kata pepatah,sambil menyelam, minum la 2-3 teguk air. So gua pun ambil kesempatan ni untuk update blog. Lu olang rasa kan,nasib gua boleh jadi lagi malang tak? Gua rindu gila babi masa 1st year 1st sem. Masa tu hidup gua agak teratur dari sekarang. Hasilnya,result gua time tu ok,walaupun tak la gempak mana. Naik saja 2nd sem,semua lingkup. Pasal result yang hancur tu,berduyun2 nasib malang datang hempap gua. Entah la bai,memang nasib gua nak jadi macam ni kot. Tiba-tiba gua terfikr,maybe gua patut buat macam kat koleq dulu. Gua patut persetankan semua orang,asalkan gua selamat,gua berjaya. Bapak gua ade nasihat dengan penuh tak ikhlas sebelum gua masuk 2nd year ni. Dia cakap, "hypocrisy is the short-cut to success". Gua cuba fikir-fikir balik ape la yang tersirat di sebalik ayat bapak gua ni?


Gua tak tau la macam mana sem baru ni akan berakhir,gua just berdoa ke hadrat Illahi semoga gua jadi lagi baik...........