between me and you

For the past 20 year, the world keeps on comparing,distinguishing between the both of us. I know it seems silly,but then again,not even you can deny the truthfullness of this fact,right? From the way we dress,we walk,we talk,every single aspect,even the dumbest of all things. You were born an orphan, the youngest of four. You told me how hard the life was back in those black and white days. Yet none of this were to become an obstacle for you. You strive the hardest amongst all,achieving so many success in your life. You studied both domestically and internationally. In continuation, you became what you always wanted,your cup of tea. You contributed so much for the past few decades to your job. Your were gifted with a a great mind and vision. Applauses and compliments were given from every angle. Each and everyday you grew proud of yourself. Well,you deserve it though.

Then came....ME. The one you thought would be the heir to all your success. I grew up admiring you,acknowlodging each an everything you do.You taught me with everthing you knew. I knew, you wanted me to be just like you. But come on,you knew deep down, I am nothing more than a failure, right? I entered 3 different,yet prestigous alma maters. How does that contributed to my self-developement? Does that make me a different person at his own level? Just look at me, I am nothing even an inch close to you. I seldom past any of my test with flying colours. The one's which even did might just be my luck, I guess. I'm badly organized,not to mention the level of clumsiness I could offer. I didn't went to study abroad, though I dreamt(might just always be a dream) to do so. I'm a jerk, a worthless piece of junk. Yet you never tell it straight to my face.,maybe you still have that tiny inch of believe that I could change.

I don't know, whether you still trust me, or slowly losing it. Remember back a few years ago,how harsh you treated me? How you looked down on me regarding many things such as my examination results,the way I look,even to the girls I tried to date. Remember how I retaliated? All those devious acts I've done in the past....you...yes,you were the catapulting catalyst that made me insane enough to carry such act. We keep on arguing for most of the time. I have no place to roam. Thus, I turned to my friends,my beloved blood-brothers who keeps on standing next to me through thick or thin....

You know what, I respect you in any reasonable circumstances. You are my mentor. Yet to be honest, I do despise you in certain ways. From day to day, I knew, both of us were not meant to be parallel. I tried,but I can't. Like I said earlier, I am nothing like you. Maybe I am not destined to be as accomplished,as well-organized like you. It's okay if you look at me as a mere regrettable creature...I just want you to know,I'm sorry..............

1 Syawal

Pada detik jari gua menulis karangan merepek ini, bulan Syawal sudah pun menjengah hari yang keempat. Bersyukur ke hadrat Illahi, bulan Ramadhan yang penuh barakah telah gua lalui. Dengan jaya atau tak,itu berserah pada-Nya. Gua pun tak tau la,sama ada bulan Ramadhan yang baru lepas ni telah gua penuhi dengan aktivti yang baik atau tak. Harap2,semua amalan gua dari sekecik biji kurma yang gua selalu main campak kat adik gua, hinggalah sebesar kapal kargo yang selalu berlabuh kat Pelabuhan Klang ni diterima Allah.  Perjalanan gua pulang ke kampung halaman di Batu 17, Ayer Tawar, Perak bermula pada hari terakhir puasa, di mana roket yang dipandu bapak gua akan berlepas dengan kelajuan 170km/J. Setelah melakukan pendaratan dengan aman di kawasan dituju, kami pun berehat. Kampung gua ni aneh sikit. Walaupun dalam negeri Perak,rata-rata orang dekat sini cakap bahasa Mandailing,jarang cakap Perak. Nasib gua faham dua2. Malam sebelum raya gua pergi jalan2 dekat Lumut. Gua agak terkejut beruk bila tengok Lumut sekarang dah ada Bazaar Rakyat. OK la,kira Datuk Seri Dr Zambry ni ada la jugak bagi sesuatu kat penduduk dekat sini. Lepas tu,"si dia" call gua. 1st time beraya dengan orang baru,orang baru yang sayangkan gua. Adoi sangap sungguh gua ni. Sayang dia sangat2!!

Pada pagi 1 Syawal,kami sekeluarga bergerak ke masjid untuk Solat Aidilftri.

Masjid tempat gua Solat raya setiap tahun.

Masjid ni semakin lama semakin maju. Dah ada air-cond,tu yang penting. Habis saja solat ialah masa paling mantap bagi gua. Masa ni la nak berpeluk,bersalam dengan semua saudara mara gua. Gua rasa bangga bila tengok rata-rata orang kampung gua yang turun masa solat raya ni,semuanya berjaya dalam bidang masing-masing. Antaranya, Datuk Zulhasnan Najib Baharudin, yang kini menjawat jawatan Pengarah Jabatan Siasatan Jenayah Narkotik, Ibu Pejabat Bukit Aman. Jawatan ni tinggi bai,betul2 bawah Timbalan Ketua Polis Negara. Tak gua lupakan Datuk Abdul Rahim Uda, kini Hakim Mahkamah Tinggi Terengganu. Dulu masa dia Penasihat Undang-Undang Negeri Perak,gua pernah ziarah dia dengan abah. Mungkin beliau la sebab gua mula-mula terfikir nak belajar undang-undang dulu. Rasa bangga jugak la,hampir tiap2 raya dapat jabat tangan dengan mereka. Tapi gua sampai sekarang masih tak puas hati,pasal Tan Sri Alimuddin Mohd Dom,Ketua Pengarah Pelajaran Malaysia kini,dah lama tak balik kampung. Beliau pernah jadi pengetua sekolah gua selama 5 tahun,1999-2003. Gua ingat lagi,masa gua mula2 masuk sekolah menengah dulu,bapak gua yang cakap, Pengetua sekolah kau ni orang kampung kita. Beliau cukup mesra. Sampai ke tahap dia selesa budak-budak panggil dia "Ayahanda". Beliau ni sangat la disukai semua warga sekolah gua. Lemah-lembut,mesra tapi tegas. Batch gua, MC0307 banyak terhutang budi dengan beliau. Terima kasih Ayahanda. Harap kami dapat bertenu Ayahanda.
Melihat mereka ni, gua rasa bangga. Sekurang-kurangnya masa balik raya ni,dapat la gua sikit motivasi nak berjaya. Agak segan la bila diorang tanya; "Are you reading law?" "How's your result?". Adoi memang malu la nak cakap. Tapi tak apa, gua akan try dapat keputusan yang lebih mantap semester ni. InsyaAllah.

Gua punya Pak Long

Bersama Khair Azim,budak sekolah merangkap orang kampung gua

Habis saja solat,gua bergerak ke kubur. Ziarah kubur arwah atuk

Jangan usha gua,usha venue tempat gua bergambar.

Ni dekat rumah mak ngah. Bapak gua lepas geram.

ni dekat Istana Raja Bilah, Papan.

Abang Eja, Abah, Aban Cik

Kami sempat ziarah tanah abah kejap. Mungkin pasal belum musim,jadi tak ada buah. Bapak gua rancang nak balik sini lepas bersara.

Pendek kata,sepanjang hari pertama Raya ni tak banyak yang gua buat. Nama pun hari 1st. Lepas ni mungkin gua nak ziarah rumah2 kawan gua,specially yang dah nak pulang belajar ke seberang laut. InsyaAllah,gua datang raya rumah lu.

Kepada abah,mak,adik, "dia" yang gua sayang, rakan-rakan, dan seluruh umat Islam,gua nak ucap..

Selamat Hari Raya

Maaf Zahir & Batin

what's with all this nonsence?

The Pendet dance. The song "Burung Kakak Tua". Batik........ Not really some concrete reasons for you to be dissatisfied with,to actually cause street -violence nationwide . Ironically, that is what happening right there in Indonesia. Claiming that all of those are some stolen heritage from their country, some violence demonstration were conducted there. Adding to the agony, the arrest off 3 Indonesian Fisheries Officers has made the matter worsen from day to day.

As referred to the above picture, the pride of our country, the Jalur Gemilang is rudely mistreated. Rather than to be waved proudly high above the flag pole, it is used as if it is nothing more than a mere carpet that you usually found in every living room. I don't know about you guys, but personally I found this picture really disturbing. Besides this uncivilized action, it was also reported that faeces, yes, faeces were thrown to the Malaysian Embassy. How could things become worse? God knows.

Come to think of it, were our previous actions so unspeakeably cruel to the extend that they retaliated with such unhumanity? For the past years, the Malaysian Government had been so considerate in regards of allowing so many immigrants, largely Indonesians, to cross the border. No to forget the fact that how the Malaysian, both Government an NGO'S, were so generous in lending their helping hands to Indonesia, most notably during the Tsunami tragedy. Sadly, how did they repay us? Just because of the arrest of those three officers, it seems like all our good deeds had gone through thin air, lost from their memories. Even a Malaysian movie critic, Mansor Puteh has a say on this. On his statement, he said that it is quite an eyebrow-raising situation, that when a group of Indonesian extremist threatened to inflict danger to Malaysian whose currently staying in Indonesia, and the Local Authorities did not show any reasonable action to cope with this. Does this show directly that the whole country is giving their  blessings to all these rude actions? Once again, God knows.....

 According to the Indonesian Sociological Research Director, Khairuddin Harahap, most street demonstrations in Indonesia were carried out by people who are not even aware of what they are demonstrating about.Most of them are slumdogs,living under bridges or may not even have a home at all. They were hired by certain groups to do their dirty game, rather than to do it themselves. The payment; money, food & cigarretes. This leads us to another question, why are they doing this? Some critics have said that showing their dissatisfaction to Malaysia may not be the sole reason for all of this  to occur. A message was to be extracted from it, in a subliminal method that is.

Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, the Indonesian President

From my mere point of view, it may looked as if Malaysian is the one bombarded with all of this problems. On the surface, that may be the case. However, seems like the real target of all this is the man above. This is all the methods in bringing him down. All his rivals knew that through Elections, SBY would be a tough nut to crack. Thus, raising this issues seems to be the ideal way to bring him and his regime down to the ground. Come on,lets think for a second. Lately the issue of Indonesian housemates being tortured by their Malaysian employers was suddenly raised. Frankly speaking, this housemates are having a much hellacious life in other countries such as Saudi Arabia and China. Yet, Malaysia seems to be the one blamed for largely all of it.

As a Malaysian, there is no denying the fact that how it reaps my heart out, to see our prestigious flag being mistreated, especially in the patriotic month of August. For me, the level of intimacy between both nations should be increased. It is vital for both nation to look back on the ethnicity diaspora that there are so many Indonesian tribes that migrated to Malaysia as early as the 17th century. For example, we could found so many Javanese men living in Muar,Sabak Bernam, Kuala Selangor and Hutan Melintang. Not to forget the Mandailing people of Sumatera like myself,who are living mostly in Perak,Selangor & Negeri Sembilan.

The 1st generations of Mandailing in Perak

Since I was a child, I learnt through my father that my ancestors ,the Mandaling people, were from Tapanuli Selatan, Northern of Sumatera. Migrating to Perak as their first settlement on the aftermath of the Padri War, they have chosen Ayer Tawar, Pusing, Bruas, Batu Gajah and Gopeng as their place in search of a new life far away from their homeland.

Tapanuli Selatan, Sumatera

Since arrival, my ancestors have vow to serve their newly-found home with all their heart. They have forgotten their place of origin, Sumatera, or Indonesia as a whole. Yet, there is no denial that most of us still misses our homeland. Maybe that is the main reason that triggered me to write this long sketch. Deep inside my heart's core, I still have that feeling that Indonesia, Sumatera to be specific, is my home. Both countries should be united with brotherly-bond. That is why it saddens me to see that the good relationship between both neighbouring nations are on the verge of a serious threat,thanks to the action of some irresponsible being who blindly acts on the order of political agenda's. Besides, doesn't it seems to be even sad, if this "war" is happening between those who shared the same sacred vow, that Allah is the Supreme God & Muhammad is His Messenger?

There is no point to argue on the dumbest of all subjects. There are a lot of other matters that needs to be look into. Economy,developement , health, etc. Just stop all of this stupidity and think on a better future up ahead....

that night......

For the past centuries, it was said to be a gift, a present to the followers of Muhammad. Coming once in a year, in accordance with the Hijri Calendar, the night was regarded as such a sacred night, to the extend that even a thousand months would not be sufficiently  parallel to it's holyness....

To be specific, the night of Lailatul Qadar comes in every Ramadhan, the ninth month of this particular calendar. Ramadhan is a a tough month. Well, the term "Ramadhan" itself is translated as "hot". You are actually abstaining yourselves from most of  any pleasurable humanly activities such as having a meal,smoking some cigarretes and even engaging in sexual intercourse from morning till dawn for the whole month. Yet, this is the month where every Muslim should devote themselves  to as many spiritual activities as they could  possibly manage. Prayers, Quran recitings and any good deeds are advisable.  Back in those days at the Hijjaz Peninsular, the 1st generation of Muslims gained their strenghs and courageness all thanks to Ramadhan..

Then it comes to that night. No one, not even the pious of all Muslims scholars know when it will come. Yet, it is said that it is on the final chapter, the last 10 days of Ramadhan. On this night, the Gates of Heaven shall be open. The Angels will be descended to Earth by Allah. All your prayers shall be ascended. But the jewel of the crown, is that all your good deeds will be measured and awarded on a higher value,compared to on any normal occasions.

The month of Syawal is already around the corner. Somehow, the level of eagerness among the Muslims nowadays to hunt the greatness of this night before Ramadhan ends, is astonishingly very poor. Instead of Lailatul Qadar, people are more attracted to Lailatul Kamdar.

 I may not be pious myself, but at least I am searching for it. Lets have this one simple presumption, what would actually happened if this Ramadhan turns out to be our last? What if we  die,living this enjoyable environment called "life", without even having a slight taste of this great night?

This is the final chapter. Seems like the clouds are so generous in pouring down its rain this pass  few nights. Could it be a sign? Only Allah knows, thats for sure. Lets just prat that it is not too late....