just let it be untitled.....

"Has anything you've done,you've gain so far, made your life better in any way? If it is so, persuade me to believe it......"

OK to begin with, it has never been something orthodox to be asked such questions by your dad, especially on the wake of your 8th month anniversary with your girlfriend. Yet guess what, it did happen. The question was uttered at an approximate 22 hours right before this particular post was written. Never knew why he even had the fundamental idea to ask this though, yet it did became a wake up call for me, sort of. His words for me are as subtle as the blowing wind. Yet, it carries with it a wisdom that makes people sit and think for awhile.

Today did not started as well as I would reasonably hope for. I had to endure a not-so-rare Motivation Session conducted by non other than (drum roll please....) my dad.

"Kau boleh tak cuba bawak kereta tu baik-baik sikit? Semalam dah habis RM 500 pasal nak betulkan stering kereta tu. Cuba ko fikir,kalau duit tu abah bagi buta-buta kat kau? Tak ke lagi baik?"

It was rather straight-forward. There is nothing subliminal about this one. Then before I could even pull the strings of myself back together, this one pops out :

" Cuba belajar berjimat sikit. Hargai barang yang ada. Jangan asyik nak beli yang bukan-bukan. 5 tahun abah hantar kau belajar jauh-jauh dulu, apa yang kau dapat? Fikir pasal masa depan,apa yang boleh guna dengan duit tu. Dulu elok je jaga duit, sekarang ni makin teruk la abah tengok kau ni. Belajar hancur, belanja tak menentu.."

Coming to my senses once more, my life had started to deteriorate since the past few months, financially to be exact. This never happened before during my earlier days here. That "red machine" that I've been using lately. There is without a shadow of a doubt that it is the root of all my downfall and continuing problems. I'm contemplating to leave it at home by the end of this semester though. Easier to be said than done, I reckon.....

Abah told me that I should control my expenses as my future's foundation. Man, guess I've been quite a spender now. Regardless of the fact that my father has been reluctant to lend me money nowadays, the way I live now seems to contribute to how pennyless I am.

After hours of consultations with my inner-self, I guess that I've found the ultimate solution. Guess it would be foolish of me to reveal it now. Just going to keep it as a secret....